Some days my issues with my appearance ruin everything I want to do. I can't even get out of bed and sit at my computer. I can't even stand to be in my own presence. I'll skip school and spend the day driving around aimlessly. I just get an overwhelming feeling of anomie. The way that I look is a complete burden, I just feel like a disgusting human being. On the days that I actually like the way that I look, I'll go out of my way to leave the house. On those days I'm not so embarrassed to be alive. But I feel like if I looked better than my life will improve significantly. Oh I don't know. Maybe that's a delusional way to think, but on the other hand I don't see why that wouldn't be true.

I couldn't read her handwriting for the second prompt very well. In fact, I don't understand the prompt at all. I guess the difference between actions and thinking is the way that I imagine driving my car off the hill on the side of the highway everytime I drive home, but not doing it because... I don't know why. Because my car would be wrecked and I'd probably just be hurt instead of dead. I don't know how far down the hill goes. I guess the worst thing that could happen would be accidentally starting a fire with the condensed amount of trees in the area. As for the other part, I guess I'm "struggling" with knowing that all happiness is fleeting, and I don't think there will ever be a moment in my life where I won't feel crushing loneliness. Is it really a "struggle" if it's the truth though?

"Sadness is considered a bad feeling."